BOOKENDS?

NEW PUBLICITY SHOT!

Wow! I finally remembered ma password! Here we are in August 2020. What in the name of Holy Mary is going on? These days I walk intae a shop in a mask tae buy some milk, eggs and bread. If that had been six months ago the staff would have phoned the polis!!! The entertainment world has died along with my so-called career. However, I don't give a shit! I have found a new life, binge-watching all the things I missed when I would have been working. "Outnumbered" - "Scott and Bailey" - "After Life" - "Innocent Man" - "Friday Night Dinner" etc etc.
My next appearance as Billy Connolly is New Year's Eve 2020. Where? I can't even remember, it's somewhere on my email. 😄

COMING SOON....21st of June!!

HEMPSTEAD HOUSE, Country House Hotel and Spa presents.....Me! Book early to avoid disappointment!

https://www.hempsteadhouse.co.uk/billy-connolly

MAGGIE'S Dundee - Kitchen Table Day launch.

Absolutely loved entertaining the people at Maggie's today. They are real miracle workers!

Click the link for some Wellies! (and learn about Maggie's on their Facebook Page!)

https://www.facebook.com/61541262121/posts/10157340114052122?sfns=mo

BILLY CONNOLLY and Me!

BILLY AND ME!

I was honoured to appear for about 7 seconds on this tribute to Billy Connolly. It featured sound bites from members of the public, Stars from Dame Judie Dench, David Tennant and Sir Michael Parkinson to the amazing Peter Kaye and dah-dah...Moi!
Narrated by the delectable Suranne Jones.
Click here for my bit!
https://youtu.be/Oej0yDwa00M

BURNS Birthday Lunch at Aldingbourne Country Centre

Happy 2017!! I've been in Scotland for a week gettin' my accent polished for this special occasion at the Aldingbourne Trust where I support adults with learning disabilities to achieve their goals in music, entertainment and performance.

Click here for video: YouTube - ACC Digital Media

Me 'n' BILLY

I AM SO EXCITED, I have two tickets to see BILLY CONNOLLY on the 22nd of This month! In Brighton, East Sussex! Last time I saw Billy there, he not only played my banjo for the crowd outside the stage door, he very kindly autographed it for me! If ye dinnae believe me - well check the photy, by the way! The camera never lies!

A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2016 awready! Ah'm just getting used tae writin' 2015 as the date and there it goes!!! That's the problem with time....it disnae really exist! In China they don't think it's 2016! They think it's the year of the Dug or somethin' - the Hebrew calendar's aw' different, the Aztecs thought it was 10,025 or something....they can't all be right! Anyway, have a fantastic year and I hope to see ye somewhere at a gig, Cheers!

The nights are fair drawing in!

My God! It only seems like aboot ten minutes since Burns Night and here the Bairns are gaun back tae the school. FFS! Ah've been that busy this is the first chance ah've hud tae catch ye up wi what's happenin'! My Grandchildren have got to the stage where I have the unadulterated privilege of communicating with them by email. Every other day there is a golden nugget of info about school, sleepovers, Minecraft (I am learning but have yet to reach the stage where we can "join worlds". Life gets more puzzling by the hour! Are there any children left who just sit out in the garden and play with a stick?

I would like to wish everyone a Happy New 2015, I hope it brings you everything you would wish for yourself and your family! Hope to see you live in Two Oh One Five!

It's Halloween! Thank God for that! Now we can start looking forward to Christmas.....:-(
At my age a year has been reduced to this....."Should auld acquaintance be forgot.....Happy Birthday To You..... Oh....Jingle Bells - Jingle Bells.....
Not long tae go now....a few years....then it'll be the care home and ...."would you like to try some Christmas pudding" - " NO - FUCK OFF, and take yer Christmas Pudding with ye! Shove it up yer arse! I'm actually looking forward tae that!

Hiya - things have been a bit quiet lately - however, coming up in the next month are such events as - 
The AldingBOOM Festival Sun 22nd June
Chichester Music Festival 5th July
Bognor Regis Motor Gala 6th July, West Park, Bognor Regis
The Crown, Littlehampton, 19th July
Rox Music and Arts FREE Festival, Bognor Regis Seafront - 26 & 27 July - Compere main stage
Rock'n'Roll.....

ACTASTIC SHOWCASE, SOUTHPORT

I'd like to thank Paula and Sharon from Actastic Entertainments for a thoroughly enjoyable night. As usuaul their organisation was excellent, the room was buzzing and I had a great time onstage (in spite of sound gremlins!)

Southport Convention Centre

This Thursday - a huge showcase at the Southport Convention Centre for Actastic Entertainments. Anyone who would like to attend can contact Paula on +44 (0)1704880894
Loads of quality acts plus, of course.....me being extremely windswept and interesting! :-)

BURNS NIGHT FOR LORD'S TAVERNERS at The Grand Cafe in Southampton

http://www.grand-cafe.co.uk/events/burns-supper-at-grand-cafe

Friday 24th January

Burns Nicht is upon us! Wee sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous beasties, Ghaists and Houlets - you tell me - I had tae google it!

Rehearsing like mad - (wtf does that mean? "rehearsing"  re = again, hearse = a final journey, ing = a verb)....maybe it means " do this or you WILL die on your arse!!! Anyway, The Address To The Haggis is reverberating roond ma mind and ma heed is suffering from repetitive strain!

I think this gig is sold out by the way!

HAPPY 2014!!!

Ah've been rushed aff ma feet since New Year!! This is great, a weekend without work! Next thing tae hit the fan is Burns Night! Big gig next weekend for Lord's Taverners! Ah better no' mention Freuchie - if ye don't know what Freuchie is ye should google it! HAPPY NEW YEAR. :-)

My thoughts are with the people who lost friends and relatives in the helicopter crash on The CLUTHA BAR. NO words....

"THE BITTER BURDENS THAT WE BEAR" for R.C.O.L.

Hi All
In 2013 I was fortunate enough to be chosen to feature as "the pub landlord" - NOT Al Murray!!! in this production for The Royal Holloway, College of London. Wonderful people and great fun to work with!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzrO-FwspXE

KEEP CALM?????

ARE YOU AS FED UP WITH THESE "World War II" SIGNS AS I AM? This is the last one as far as I am concerned! lol (WTF is "lol" by the way? Or should that be BTW? And WTF....adults don't even realise the kids are Swearin' - well done, kids!) I'm losin' the place awthegither here! :-) xx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CkWe9pHbP8

LIVE at Sub69, Reading, Berkshire.

COMPERE THE MEERKAT.COM! At Rox Free Music and Arts Festival

COMPERE THE MEERKAT......ye see what ah did there? Ah well, another highly successful Rox Festival is over for this year with live streaming viewed in 36 countries!!! Next - Rox Pop Up events in Bognor Town Centre and we are providing the Stage, Pavilions, PA, Backline and support at Aldingbourne Alive! on September 1st at Aldingbourne Sports and Social Club.

Charity Event at Sub69, Reading for Macmillan Cancer Care

Charity night raising over £1000 for Macmillan Cancer Care! Vocalists, Musicians, Rappers all appearing FREE!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CkWe9pHbP8

HALLOOOOAH - I have been in Scotland from 8th May to June 2nd. During that time I was re-united for the first time in 23 years with Perfect Strangers - a rock band I toured the UK/Europe with and the finest musicians you could wish for! My beloved Mother died aged 86 - humorous to the last. The last words she said were to my daughter, Sharon, "Remember to tell James that joke!" I had some real quality time with my Grandchildren Annie & Alexander. I performed for Tenmat UK in Manchester, who had won the Queen's Award for Industry for the second year running. The best audience I have ever had - "working class people" whatever the fuck that means (if you have to get up in the morning to survive you are working class as far as I am concerned!) Next day I attended my Mother's Funeral - isn't life a bowl of fuckin' cherries?

Last night I hosted a night of absolute hilarity at Jack Rabbit Slim's - the newest Live Entertainment Venue in Bognor Regis, West Sussex! As part of The Royal Hotel this should become the Premier Variety venue in The South! This particular event was a fundraiser comedy night. Around 100 guests showed up and were treated to an evening of the best comedians - both established and up-and-coming acts that we have to offer! More fun than you can have with your knickers down! Click for link to Chloe's New Legs!

London Studios for Hat Trick Productions with Marcus Brigstocke

Just got back from ITV London Studios where I was recording a new show for Channel 4 hosted by Marcus Brigstocke - what a nice man! Lovely people at Hat Trick Productions, Toni, Lissa and Neil. Great fun! Hat Trick are a great company responsible for Father Ted, Harry Enfield, Armstrong & Miller and loads more!

My wonderful wife, Marian and I recorded the very last thing (ironically a quiz show pilot for ITV) at BBC Television Centre on 29/03/13 before it closed forever. We spoke to Vic Reeves (on a break from filming a new sitcom with Sir Robert Of Mortimer) at rehearsal, a really nice guy as you would expect! When recording ended and the audience melted away we walked through the corridors which had once seen the Giants of Entertainment in the UK. Everyone from my youth, Blue Peter people, the Woodentops - but enough about Noel's House Party! The Beatles, John Peel, Whispering Bob, Sir Terry, Sir Bruce, Tarby, Parky, Two Ronnies, Morecambe and Wise, Steptoe & Son, Alf Garnett, Del Boy - above all Sir Spike Milligan & Co. and far too many others to mention here. It was the base for the biggest telethon in history - Liveaid - the event that changed the world (whether you like it or not!) and.......... The infamous BBC Canteen! Which is now regretfully closed and gone forever - that which lived in infamy in the minds of Ken Bruce and Terry Wogan! God bless the BBC - it may be flawed but it reflects the flaws of the British People. Brotherly Love, Relief, Fairness and Truth! Television Centre, Wood Lane is dead - long live BBC Salford!

Who dae ye think you're lookin' at? haha

Taken at a gig in Cannock, East Midlands in March 2013. A 60th Birthday Party actually! The lucky lady was totally shocked and amused! Great crowd, theme - Mods and Rockers. First time I ever had dogs in my audience!

If you would like to see BILLY'S Official website - click here! Includes Billy's favourite music!

Face The Clock with RORY BREMNER - Channel 4

Face The Clock with RORY BREMNER
Shown on 15th January 2013 - I had the best fun in a long time! Flown up to Glasgow, Food and Accommodation plus a day filming with some beautiful people and the Amazing Rory Bremner - offscreen we had such a laugh! Rory being "BILLY" and me being "Even BILLIER" Such a nice guy and such a rewarding experience - although nobody won anything! Great weekend!

New Quiz Show - Objective Productions for Channel 4

This past week I flew up to Glasgow to record a brand new quiz show for Channel 4 coming in 2013. Quizmaster is Rory Bremner and between his impression of Billy and mine we had such a great time! Aye, he'll do me right enough! Nice guy.

Royal Shades, Hayling Island

A great 1st comedy night, loads of laughs and a great venue!Click on the link for FB page

ROX Music & Arts 2012 - Compering ROX free festival with 46,000 guests and 33 bands on the main stage!!! fun fun fun!!! Click for Rox website

60th Birthday Party in Devon

I just got back from a really nice gig for the nicest Guy -Phil Tucker - I will remember it until my dying day! I had just introduced Billy's big hit D.I.V.O.R.C.E. - I played the intro and launched into the 1st verse.....Our Little Dog is 6 years old when - Mr & Mrs Tucker's best friend "MAX" decided to join in! "WOOF WOOF!" he went in a deep resonant tenor bark! If only there had been a video cam - straight in to "You've Been Framed" Worldwide!!! Pure Magic!

MR. BLUE SKY

This was me away back in the 20th Century! Drums/Lead Vocals on Perfect Stranger's Treatment of Mr. Blue Sky!! Click on the link!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z_ptvuMrUSs&feature=relmfu

ROX FREE Music & Arts Festival 2011

Crowd Surfing (almost) with my adoring ROX public!! MORE fun than you can have with your clothes off!!

My Great-Uncle - the Inimitable.................Neil Ainsby (and I) - ROX 2011 - This year's ROX FREE Festival is 27,28&29 JULY!

I met Billy again in Brighton - he was the eternal Gentleman! - He autographed my Banjo, played "Cripple Creek" to the assembled fans, then he actually gave me a few hints and tips about how to actually do his act!! Billy is the real deal in my view! Legend is a much abused term buit in Billy's case it is just about right!

I'm Big in The Isle Of Man!!! seriously though I had the best time on this gig and I hope to get back - I think they want me around Christmas - well they said "It'll be a cold night before we have you back!!!!"..... The old ones are the best!

CENTENARY CENTRE, PEEL, ISLE OF MAN

If I had been the real BIG YIN I could not have been treated any better! The people who run the Centenary Centre are true heroes!! Ernie, Malcolm,Trev,Mark the sound engineer, Sue(Mrs Ernie!)and everyone who have made the Centenary Theatre run as a theatre should be run, should be proud of themselves!! They should be running the country!!! Many thanks to Stanley Brothers for their support!
MUCH LOVE TO THE ISLE OF MAN!!XXX

ISLE OF MAN!!

I'm flying out to the Isle Of Man tomorrow to play the Centenary Hall Theatre in Peel! I'll report on the experience next week! Click the link for details!

The Doll's House!

Had a great afternoon with some "real" people in Oldsbury, Birmingham!! The Doll's House crowd were amazing and I loved having a laugh with them! I wish there were more people like them in power - the UK would be in better hands!!! Click on the Title for the Facebook link!

HAPPY NEW 2012!!!

Happy New Year!! I kicked off 2012 by appearing in the first TV Ad of the year - filmed on West Wittering beach West Sussex the ad is for The SUN (don't ask!) If you look closely you will see me cunningly disguised as a hairdresser in the Red Jacket (with the hair tied back looking more like Wagner than Billy!) We had 2 days filming in mid December running IN the freezing waters of the Channel! Great fun!

First Advert of 2012

I've just spent the weekend on the beach at West Wittering, Sussex, running(!) along the sand and in the sea!!! All for a new advert for The SUN (sometimes fate just laughs at my pet hates!!) I played a very camp hairdresser and it will be shown as the first ad of 2012, incorporating the Olympics with every face of the Great British Nation! The cast, crew and extras were brilliant - so friendly - and what they say about film location catering is absolutely 100% true - Delicious!! In spite of the exercise I've gained a pound or two!!

KEEP CALM??????

Are you sick of seeing these signs everywhere? I got fed up with them and decided to make one of my own!!

The WEAKEST LINK

Well, here we are in JOJOBA! (In Glasgow that's the month before November!) The BBC phoned on Friday to tell me that "my" episode of The WEAKEST LINK would be shown this Thursday 27th on BBC2 at 14:15 or 2:15pm in old money! I am shiting myself 'cos ah cannae remember how it went!!!!

ROX Music & Arts Free Festival 2011

2 Days, 5 Stages, over 100 Bands, Arts, Crafts, Funfair, Bars, Food and of course ROX Bognor Sunshine!! All headlined by 60s Veterans The Diamonds on Saturday and the Legendary BLOCKHEADS on Sunday! Compered by Neil Ainsby and myself (with the last dregs of my voice after 2 days!) Click for a short video from The Observer Group

ROX Music & Arts FREE 21st Anniversary Festival

Saturday 23rd and Sunday 24th JULY - in the grounds of the Royal Norfolk Hotel and Seafront in BOGNOR REGIS, West Sussex - the 21st ROX Festival! ARENA STAGE, U STAGE, SECRET GARDEN STAGE, CLASSICAL STAGE & DANCE STAGE with over 100 bands/acts/artists appearing!
Funfair, Food, Bars, Trader Village, Community Groups, and Family-orientated entertainment with Magic Lessons, Balloon Modelling Lessons, Face-Painting etc. The whole weekend is headlined by The late Ian Dury's wonderful band THE BLOCKHEADS!!! Tickets are FREE!!! Click the link for further info!

ComedyROX!!

Devastatingly hilarious opening night at LAUGH @ GEORGE last Saturday! This week finds Gwilum Argos, Richard Wood, Ben Harrington and Wayne The Weird at The HOLE In The WALL, St Martins Rd, Chichester with Billy Connearly compereing!!

For more info click the title!

ROX Presents...LAUGH @ GEORGE!

Saturday 21st May at the George Inn, Felpham Rd, Felpham, Bognor Regis. LAUGH @ GEORGE with ALEX CLISSOLD-JONES, BARNABY SLATER, PAUL RICKETTS and MATT RICHARDSON. Compered by myself! Tickets £5 from the George on 01243824177. For more details of ROX Presents...Comedy nights click on the link!

The Hole In The Wall ROX with Laughter!

Coming to The Hole In The Wall, 1A St. Martins Lane, Chichester on Sunday May 29th - COMEDY NIGHT!!!!

Featuring Wayne The Weird and Richard Wood with more acts TBC! Hosted by Me!!
Tickets £5 from the venue on 01243533182!

ComedyROX@The Prince of Wales

Unbelievable night at The Prince again on Saturday - Audience were amazing as were the acts - CHRIS TAVNER and CLAIRE STROUD - Joey Page and Frankie Peoples didn't turn up so I did the second half - aided by audience members Phil 1 and Phil 2, Jenny on vocals, Chris Tavner did another 10 minutes and the Star of the night was the Prince of Wales's dog (I forget his name) but he stole the show!! Another fantastic night's fun and laughter! Thanks Tracey and Damien - ROX Crew!

COMEDY ROX@The PRINCE of WALES

An Amazing opening night for Comedy ROX @the Prince of Wales Inn - The ROX Crew - Tracey Baker, Damien Reynolds and Nigel Bulley were Immense!! Next Event 9th April with 4 comedians plus - BILLY CONNEARLY!!!

Bev The Cake!!

I'd like to express my sincere thanks to "BEV The Cake" who provides me with loads of material both original and traditional! Keep it up Bev! xxx

Laugh@George!

Coming to The George Inn, Felpham once a month from May 21st 2011 - ROX Music & Arts Charity Presents...Laugh@George! The UK's Top Comedians and New Faces with ROX 2010 compere BILLY CONNEARLY!

Tickets £5.00 from:
The George Inn,102 Felpham Road, Bognor Regis, West Sussex, PO22 7PL

Telephone 01243 824177
Email : georgeinn@in.com
Click on Title for The George Inn website.

COMEDY ROX

ROX Music & Arts Charity presents...brand new comedy club at the Prince of Wales Inn, Bognor Regis...COMEDY ROX! Second Saturday in the month, featuring the UK's Top Comedians and New Faces in the Prince of Wales lounge. Tickets £5 from the venue on 01243 829633

Hilton Metropole, Brighton

Just back from a gig entertaining some really nice people at the The Metropole Hotel. They were really up for a laugh! No swearies though!! It's a bit difficult - trying to be BILLY without swearing!!

ROX Music & Arts

I have recently become a member of the ROX Music & Arts Charity which has been involved for 20 years in bringing Music and Arts to the local community in Bognor Regis. ROX aims to give young Performance Artists - Musicians, Actors, Comedians, Poets, Photographers, Painters, Sculptors etc etc a helping hand in developing their individual talent! ROX works in conjunction with West Sussex County Council, Butlins Bognor Regis, University of Chichester, Local Businesses etc and I feel privileged to be a small part of the organisation. Click on the link to see The ROX website!

My View of the Catholic Church.....

Click on the title to see what I mean!!

ROX Comedy Club

Click on the Title for details of the next Rox Comedy Night at The Waverley!

BRITAIN'S GOT TALENT!

Just back from Scotland - filmed introduction for next Spring's Glasgow auditions! Fantastic day in Buchanan Street, Glasgow with Falkirk's Camelon Pipe Band and Highland Dancers, Piper Iain Grant, 10 Scottish Terriers, the amazing Nick Richmond as Sir Sean Connery and my good self. The rain stopped and the Sun came out!!! Many thanks to Steve, Lucy and Alice from Talkback Thames for their professionalism!

COMEDY NIGHT!!

Saturday 27th November 2010 - The Waverley Pub, Marine Drive West, Aldwick, Bognor Regis, in Conjunction with ROX presents...

A Night Of COMEDY!!! Featuring:
MARK FELGATE - "...right on the funny bone and his voice throwing talents are very original" - The Stage
THE LEGENDARY FLOPSY BUNNIES - Stars of Musical Comedy
TONY TINMAN - If Tony Tinman were any more bitter he’d be a lemon.
Plus ROX 2010 MC BILLY CONNEARLY.
Tickets £7.50 from The Waverley, 01243823137.

ROX 2010 - The 20th Anniversary!

The best "BILLY CONNOLLY" gig I ever had!!! 38,000 fans, 2 nights of rock'n'roll at it's best all the way from 4 x 10-12 year olds to From The Jam with Bruce Foxton, Mark Brzezicki and Russell Hastings! - only 2 words for it - "Fuckin'" and "Amazing!" lmao - ROX are the best bunch of guys I've met in the last 20 years!!

EARLS COURT

I am appearing on the BOOK THE ACT stand at the National Wedding Exhibition at Earls Court this weekend! I absolutely love being MC/Compere at weddings - it's the best fun!!! I help things run according to plan and have a great laugh with the guests at the same time!!!

ROX 2010 - The 20th Anniversary!

I've just got back from Compering on the Arena Stage at the 20th ROX Music and Arts FREE! Festival in Bognor Regis with some of the finest talent from around the world! Artists and Musicians from as far away as Australia, New York, Canada, Germany, Spain as well as from all over the UK!! Too many highlights to mention but Headlining tonight was "FROM THE JAM" with original bass player/vocalist the amazing BRUCE FOXTON, Bognor's own RUSSELL HASTINGS lead/rhythm guitar/uncannily real "JAM" vocals and the legendary MARK BRZEZICKI from Big Country, Ultravox, Procul Harum, The Cult etc etc on Drums! ROX 20th Anniversary will definitely be the one to remember! Click on the Title and Links for more Info!

Hobbs 2010

Just heard today that Hobbs Farm 2010 in aid of 4SIGHT beat last year's total by raising a massive £21,000!!!! Great weekend, great music, great fun and great audiences!!

HOBB'S FARM 2010

Just back from Saturday at Hobb's 3-day music festival in aid of 4SIGHT - the West Sussex Association for the Blind - Hobb's is the South East's best kept secret!!! 20 music acts, Rock, Folk, Indie, Country, Pop, House??! You name it and the best atmosphere you can ever imagine!! The most fun you can have with your clothes off!! (Is that right?...it looks wrong to me...) Anyway - I'm back there tomorrow A.M. as MC so up the wooden hills for me!!

LAUGHTER!!

I've been thinkin' about Laughter!! - I suppose it's just the opposite of sadness! Both produce tears after all. There is such a fine line between them though eh? I have been analysing Laughter! It releases so much pent-up energy that you can hear an audience actually clearing their lungs and coughing! I think it has got to be the pinnacle of positive energy as far as humans are concerned!!! PLUS... it helps us to put our troubles and worries in perspective!! I love it when my Children take the piss out of me!!! It reminds me not to take things too seriously! Did you hear about the Vegetarian that died......there was a big turnup (turnip-lol!) at his funeral!! hahahahahah

United Response

Thursday 5th Aug - I spent a wonderful 3 hours with the Clients and the Staff and Carers of United Response - the Charity closest to my heart! - (click on link for further info) - they care for People with learning difficulties, mental health needs and physical disabilities in England and Wales. If SUE, VICKY, KEITH and every single one of the care assistants could be cloned and spread throughout the world their Love and Caring nature would cure everything! PLUS....They love life and especially LAUGHTER!!! The Best Medicine!

The Rob Brydon Show

Last night I played a (small) part in the new Rob Brydon Show - showing from 17th September,Fridays,BBC2,10.00pm. We filmed the final episode of the six-part run, featuring clips from the series, Special Guests and a shedload of laughs!! Amazing!! Rob's impression of Radio 2 Legend KEN BRUCE was brilliant! If you want to see more click on the link! Rob even talked to the audience about this marvellous new invention on the internet......The YOU TUBE!!

Messing with the UNKNOWN!

I paid the price this week of messing about with the unknown! While moving some furniture I managed to rupture my Right Bicep!! (I didn't even realise I had one!! I haven't worked out for years!!) Surgery awaits in the very near future! Isn't life a bowl of fuckin' cherries!

JULY 26th

Well - how the hell are ye? Summer is now officially here - the English schools are shut (Scotland's been off for two weeks awready!) Can you remember?? Seven weeks!! of FREEDOM!!! no teachers, no lessons, no homework - unlimited time for play (what the kids now call "hangin' out") we used to play Football...3-and-in, Hit the Bar, six or seven a side - with a "Backy and" (a defender who doubled as Goalkeeper!)imagine that in South Africa!...The best years of our lives.. BTW ALEX "HURRICANE" HIGGINS - GEORGE BEST has got the Table racked up in Heaven with a couple of large Vodkas on the side just waiting for you! Play On Alex!

Jamieswish

I am appearing at the Scout hall, East Ham Road, Littlehampton, West Sussex this Saturday 17th in aid of the charity Jamieswish - hope to see you there!

MidSummer!

The Solstice has come and gone and here we are in JULY! Isn't it just the BEST!! Warm - Trees at their best, birds signing (signing??? I must get some tippex) SINGING! - Everyone feeling a bit more positive! - and David Cameron - (the Prime Minister - hahahaha) Shiteing himself because now he has got to play with the big boys from America and Russia and Africa and everywhere else - they didn't go to ETON!! haha NO Dave they Live in the real world!!! lol

20TH ANNIVERSARY of ROX ON THE PROM!!!

This year sees the 20th Anniversary of the South Coast's Biggest Free Music and Arts Festival! 18th and 19th of September. It is the best Local festival in the UK with Local Bands and Artists plus The Big-Name acts - Last year we saw Neville Staple from The Specials, The Strangler's Hugh Cornwell, The Legendary John Bonham's Sister DEBBIE - who has in vocals what Bonzo had on Drums! I will be involved MCing and havin' a great laugh!

I am really getting into this Wedding MC/Host thing!! Last week I did a wedding in Arundel Town Hall and afterwards at Hobb's Farm, Yapton, West Sussex as MC! It was more fun than you can have with your clothes on or off!! BTW I am a very old person and I have forgotten how much fun one can have with one's clothes off!! Thankfully!!!lol

"Billy's Thoughts"
‘You pass this way but once. There’s no such thing as normal. There’s you and there’s the rest. There’s now and there’s forever. Do as you damn well please or you could end up being a pot-bellied, hairless boring fart.’
I first realised that I wanted to be an entertainer when I was about ten or twelve.

I hope to grow old disgracefully.

I’d like to be a complete nuisance, like Spike Milligan. Spike’s a great great hero of mine, I’d like to shout at church Rubbish! Explain! I’d like to be in a public gallery of parliament shouting Tosh! Nonsense! Get a job! I really would. I’d like to go and show up those Scottish parliament types.. I like to scream at Nationalists whenever I can, I have a deep loathing of nationalists and patriots. I don’t like patriots or religious weirdos, but I would like to be a nuisance, I’d like to stand behind the National Health system and all these other miracles like the Welfare State. You know, stand beside the things I truly believe in because I think the Welfare State’s a miracle and it’s under attack the whole time.

I would like to still be active.. keep my mind active and still always stand for freedom and the things that I really believe in, the things I believed in when I was a hippy, and I still believe in now.

Welll.....

Hallo!! isn't it great to be here! Let's face it - at my age it's great to be Any-fuckin-Where! I would just like to say....everybody says the Country's past-it, it's nothing like the good old days, we've sold out to Europe and basically the whole thing's fucked! Well... I have been viewing Britain's Got Talent and I think if Britain can vote a dancing fuckin' DOG into the finals....well we're in better shape than we think we are! Personally I think if the Dog had gone up against David Cameron it would have been a lot closer than it was!! PLUS...It might have sunk it's teeth into his pampered, privileged, eton-faced arse! LOLOLOL!

Mr BLUE SKY / Mr CONNOLLY

Off to Solihull to play VINCE tomorrow night at the Dovehouse Theatre, then over to Lincolnshire to play BILLY at a private party on Friday. I think I am getting MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder!)

Slimming World Let's Beat It 12 week Challenge

My amazing Slimming World members in North Bersted, Bognor Regis (Mondays at 5.30pm) have lost a total of 28st 7lbs in the last 12 weeks!!! Follow the Plan and you WILL lose weight!! Well done everybody!!

Midsummer Fayre 2010, Milton Keynes

Nobodies Perfect Productions present the double bill Mr. Blue Sky/ That's Entertainment at the Midsummer Fayre, Milton keynes on the 12th and 13th of June! Starring Della Allen as Kirstie, Paul Findlay as Joe, Steve Humpherson as Lee and...ME!!! as ageing rocker Vince! Also appearing, Wilko Johnson, Counterfeit Stones, The Blockheads, Eddie & The Hotrods etc etc etc

Being a Lookalike

It never ceases to amaze me, this Lookalike/Tribute thing! Since I started "Being" Billy Connolly I have appeared as a straight Lookalike, then a Look/Sound Alike, then as a Tribute doing a Stand-Up routine like BILLY'S, then on VIVA TV stripping off on "PANTS OFF DANCE OFF", then unbelievably...Acting!!! Playing the part of Vince Meager - an ageing Rock Star - in the play "MR BLUE SKY" by Phil Preece appearing in London's West End!!! Life does indeed imitate Art! WTF?? Incidentally Billy is one of the nicest people I have ever met!

Summer 2010

I have the privilege of Presenting/Appearing at the following Free/Charity Gigs/festivals this summer!
Sat 17th July - Jamieswish Event, Littlehampton
Sat/Sun 24th/25th July ROX ON THE PROM - Bognor Regis
Fri/Sat/Sun 3/4/5th September - HOBB'S FARM, YAPTON, WEST SUSSEX - FOR 4SIGHT The West Sussex Charity for the Blind
Sun 10th October - World Mental Health Day, Alexandra Theatre, Bognor Regis

Mr Blue Sky

Mr Blue Sky/That's Entertainment visits The Prince of Wales Theatre, Cannock on Sunday, 25th of April - for Box Office details Click on the Link

JAMIESWISH

I have been booked to appear at a big Fundraiser for the Charity "Jamieswish" (click on the link for more info)on 17th July 2010 - watch this space for more details...

Mr Blue Sky in the WEST END!!!!!

Wednesday - 4.45am - I just got back from performing Mr. Blue Sky in the Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton which went really well but I still feel like I am dreaming! Last Sunday we appeared at the Jermyn Street Theatre in the heart of the West End!! It only seats 70 but it is a really beautiful venue. It really only hit me when we came out of the theatre after the show, turned the corner and there in all her glory was Piccadilly Circus!!! Life never ceases to amaze me! Click on the link to visit Jermyn Street Theatre.

Mr Blue Sky!!

For Complete list of Spring Tour dates click on link or visit - http://www.nobodysperfectproductions.com/

Mr Blue Sky!!

I am appearing as "Vince Meager" - Mr Blue Sky in "That's Entertainment" by Phil Preece, Directed by Paolo Allen, starring Della Allen, Steve Humpherson and Paul Findlay, at the Jermyn Street Theatre, off Piccadilly on Sunday 28th March. Box Office 02072872875 or click on link for full tour dates!

The Village Hotel, Swansea

I am appearing at the Village Hotel Swansea next Friday the 26th, LIVE - Wales V France Rugby first then ME haha!!! for tickets see Village Hotel Swansea

Spring Tour - "That's Entertainment"

I am now halfway through rehearsals for "That's Entertainment" which opens next Friday 19th & Saturday 20th at The Old Joint Stock Theatre, Birmingham - tickets available from venue. For more info and full list of tour dates click on title.

Billy Connolly at the Hammersmith Apollo

I went along for a lesson in impersonating the Immortal Mr Connolly tonight! He is as accomplished as ever and had me in bits!!

4SIGHT - WEST SUSSEX ASSOCIATION for the BLIND

BIG CHARITY BURNS SUPPER!! being held on Saturday 23rd January at the Laburnum Centre, Lyon St, Bognor Regis. Traditional Fare including HAGGIS!etc and of course...Whisky!! plus...da da.... ME!!! as BILLY CONNOLLY MC!!! FOR TICKETS CALL 01243 838009 or Click on the link above!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Can I wish everyone an extremely happy 2010! - It's only the 2nd and the magic has started to pale already!! When I was growing up in Scotland people were still wishing you a Happy New Year in March!!! Binge Drinking??? we never even heard of it!!! If you were sober by Valentine's Day you were treated like some kind of weirdo!! Anyway Hoppy now Yaer! Eh Harry no Your - fuck - Harpy Noo yaer =8 bollocks - I'm havin' another drink!! Cheers!

That's Entertainment

I have been chosen to play the male lead opposite Della Allen in the two-part play "That's Entertainment" by Phil Preece, Directed by Paulo Allen and produced by Nobody's Perfect Productions!!!, I am playing "Vince"

Act 1 - Mr Blue Sky

They say if you can remember the sixties you weren't there. Well ageing rocker Vince Meager was. And it's true - he can't. Or the seventies. Actually the eighties are a bit of a blur, and as for the nineties...

He's still going the rounds playing the old hits after nearly forty years, but when a young fan comes backstage to see him after the show he finds she's looking for more than an autograph. And Vince begins to discover feelings his rock and roll lifestyle has left no time for - until now.

Opens 19th and 20th February in The Old Joint Stock Theatre Birmingham then:

Saturday 20th March
Abbots Bromley Hall

Sunday 28th March
The Jermyn Street Theatre, West End, London

Tuesday 30th March
The Arena Theatre, Wolverhampton

Sunday 25th April
The Prince of Wales Theatre, Cannock

Friday 14th May
Great Bridgeford Hall, Stafford

Friday 21st May
The Rose Theatre, Kidderminster

Thursday 27th May
The Dovehouse Theatre, Solihull

Thursday 3rd June
The Guildhall Theatre, Derby

PANTS OFF DANCE OFF

TV debut tomorrow night Wednesday 18th at 23.00 hrs on VIVA - channel 21 Freeview, Sky 358, Virgin 313! BE WARNED!! it is very funny but not for the faint-hearted!! LOL

NOVEMBER!!!

Well - what can I say?? doesn't time fly when yer havin' fun!! 5th Nov - Photo Shoot for Slimming World Magazine!! Stylist, Hair, Make-Up, Director etc !! then Friday - Birmingham for the Slimming World Awards on Saturday with......Vernon Kaye! PLUS!!!! MTV VIVA show "PantsOff DanceOff" now showing!! with - coming up.....ME as embarrassing Dad!!! Sharon and Maxine will agree to that!!! If you want to see my Audition click on the link!!! WARNING: only risk one eye at a time!!! Scroll to "Stuart"

October Awready!

Isn't it quiet in here??! Jist talk amongst yirsels - I'll think of something in a minute!

HOBB'S FARM MUSIC FESTIVAL 2009

The best yet - 20 bands - LOADS of the best fun and music - stalls crafts etc etc and.....Raised £20,000!!!!!!!!!!!!! for 4SIGHT- The West Sussex Association for the Blind!!! Well done everyone who attended/performed/helped - especially Tess, Karen, Nick, Pete etc etc

HOBB'S FARM MUSIC FESTIVAL 11TH, 12TH & 13TH, Yapton, West Sussex

In aid of 4Sight the West Sussex Association for the Blind
FRIDAY 11th:
LAUREN HALLIDAY - FUNK BUCKET - Now "MULATONES" - MIKE FRY -
THE POOPAHS
SATURDAY
ALAN & STEWART - KYM ALLEN AND KIERAN MOORE - ROSS & THE WRONGENS - ADAM FRANKLIN - MICK KOUMIS PROJECT, THE MULBERRIES, DAKOTA VI, THE FEEL, CC SMUGGLERS, COVERNOTE AND...SOUL INTENTIONS.
SUNDAY
SARAH SAVILLE - http://www.myspace.com/sarahsaville
STEVE RODGERS http://www.myspace.com/steverodgersmusic
JOHN OTWAY - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fhvM5ks9ws&feature=channel_page
THE CURST SONS - http://www.myspace.com/thecurstsons
SIXFIFTEEN - http://www.myspace.com/sixfifteentheband
MAL SIMMS AND FRIENDS - http://www.legacyband.co.uk/

Hiya

Been rushed off my feet!! Appearing at Havana, Exeter this Sunday (7th), booked for the Hobb's Farm Music Festival for 4Sight - the Charity for the visually impaired - as compere in September!! Slimming World group absolutely amazing with weight loss so far (in 5 weeks) 283 lbs or 20st 3lbs!!!!!